| Friday, February 27, 2004 |
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I wasn't going to write this, but now for some unknown reason, I find it is important that I do.
My very first thought this morning was that I didn't want to be a writer anymore. It's too hard. I am tired of struggling. I am tired of hoping today will be the day that some publisher out there deems me worthy and decides to respond. I'm tired of trying to come up with ideas.
I am tired of worrying. I'm tired of being nice. Nice guys finish last it seems.
Everything I'm writing here right now goes against everything I've written for the last month, and you know I really don't care.
The real me is a nice person. I do try to always be positive. I try to help everyone. But to be honest, it is getting me no where. I am discouraged in a big way. I bust my ass to try to get somewhere and I don't.
I realize that much of this is that I don't have work at the moment, but I have gone back over the last few months and I have seen that not only am I not going forward I seem to be going backward.
I'm tired of everyone else getting breaks and I get nothing.
I think I want to go back to the real world of paychecks and stability. Even the most upbeat people get crushed in this crazy world of writing. I'm tired of getting beat up and I scared to death that I'm thinking this way. |
posted by Kelly @ 2/27/2004 11:51:00 AM   |
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Name: Kelly Gibbons
Home: Dallas, Pennsylvania, United States
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